respite

by littlesarahbigworld

Monday, January 3rd, 2011

(Dad’s House – Pleasant View, UT)

“Lately, my first thought upon waking is that I do NOT want to be awake. Or alive. I’m flooded with anxiety, regret, and disappointment at having returned to consciousness.

Doesn’t bode well, does it? This, of course, is why I’ve chosen to seclude myself in Pleasant View, my own little suburban Walden. Bright, expansive wintry days to read, write, run, play viola, bake, and see if I can put myself back together–assemble the rough pieces into some sort of coherent whole. Stop hating myself. Stop hurting myself.

That’s the plan, at least.”