Life These Days
Last night was: Bikram yoga, groceries (fresh fruit, chocolate chips, coconut water), liquor store, stuffed bell peppers, gin and tonics with a side of Mad Men.
Which means this morning is : chard sauteed in soy sauce with sesame seeds, and fresh squeezed orange-lime juice. Detox.
Plus: a fried egg. Hangover.
Very proud of the stuffed peppers, though, so here’s a (vague) recipe:
Stuffed Bell Peppers (for 2)
-2 bell peppers
-1 cup cooked rice or some other whole grain (quinoa, etc.)
-1/3 c fake cream cheese
-2 tbsp olive tapenade
-some chard, cut into small strips
-1 fake sausage link (I like Field Roast or Tofurky), cut into slices, then slices cut into fourths
Preheat oven to 425°F. Cut the tops off of your bell peppers and scrape or cut out the white parts inside. Microwave the cream cheese until it’s soft, then mix together with rice, olive tapenade, chard and fake sausage. Dollop/scoop/whatever rice mixture into bell peppers, then top with nutritional yeast. Roast in the oven for 20-30 minutes, until peppers become wrinkly and soft. Enjoy!
The Important Thing is to Try?
Because some days I wouldn’t remember until bedtime, and other days I just wasn’t inspired, or didn’t feel that I’d come across a suitable subject for the day’s chosen prompt. And I didn’t want things to be TOO staged, you know?
Anyways, here are the results of my well-intentioned but imperfectly-executed March Photo-a-Day Challenge. Enjoy.
March 1st – “Up”
March 2nd – “Fruit”
March 3rd – “Your Neighbourhood”
I missed this one, but here’s a fun fact: spell-check just tried to correct my spelling of neighborhood, but that is how Fat Mum Slim spelled it! It’s legit! It’s Australian!
March 4th – “Bedside”
March 5th – “A Smile”
March 6th – “5 pm”
March 7th – “Something You Wore”
March 8th – “Window” (couldn’t decide, so there are two of these)
March 9th – “Red”
March 10th – “Loud”
March 11th – “Someone You Talked to Today”
March 12th – “Fork”
March 13th – “A Sign”
March 14th – “Clouds”
March 15th – “Car”
March 16th – “Sunglasses”
March 17th – “Green”
March 18th – “A Corner of Your Home”
Not this, either. In my defense, this was a weekend.
March 19th – “Funny”
March 20th – “Before/After”
March 21st – “Delicious”
March 22nd – “Kitchen Sink”
March 23rd – “Moon”
March 24th – “An Animal”
March 25th – “Breakfast”
March 26th – “Key”
March 27th – “Your Name”
March 28th through 31st – “Trash,” “Feet,” “Toy,” and “Where You Relax”
Guess I didn’t quite make it. Don’t let that fool you, though, Friends! I really enjoyed this. Fat Mum Slim does this every month, so why not give it a try? Maybe you’ll be more successful than I was.
Kava tea, Mad Men reruns, nail painting and lists
Then this morning:
Home-made breakfast of oatmeal ‘n’ apples
Plus letter writing, a bike ride, and yoga
Oh, and a brief visit with Marmy. All before work at 2pm. Not bad, though I think I may have overdone it for my first day of feeling better.
Now I’m drinking bubble tea, and tonight I will go to bed early. End of transmission.
“Oh, you’re still watching Mad Men at home? I’m sorry.”
This is a beer. A pitcher of beer. A pitcher of locally-brewed, hoppy goodness served foamy and cold at Brewvies Cinema Pub.
Where I watch Mad Men. Every Sunday. On the big screen.
There truly is nothing better in life. Except Brewvies’s steak fries. Those are thick and salty and delicious. Plus they come with fry sauce.
Because this is Utah, damnit. And we now how to do things right of a Sundee afternoon. Like this:
Except that these photos are from LAST Sunday. This Sunday looked a bit more like this:
Not pictured is the ice cube I was sucking on. Seriously, though, it felt like my body was on fire from the inside out.
But Sundays still rule, especially in Utah, if not in the same way for everyone. Basically I’m saying that I worship Don Draper, while others worship….anyways, different strokes for different folks, am I right?
…or maybe I drank a vat of Felix Fucking Felicis, because I definitely got pulled over by a cop this morning for running a red light (on my bike), and he let me go with a stern warning and no ticket.
This luck stuff is freaking me out.
Sometimes you get what you want. Sometimes, after a really rough year that culminates with you sitting in bed, crying, and your friends have to come and sit on the bed with you and force you to talk and eat things…things take a turn for the better. Sometimes you go from sleeping next to the coal shoot to having your own studio; from having shitty friends, to no friends, to amazing, caring, devoted, silly and wonderful friends. Sometimes you go from working all the time and resenting everything to working a good amount, saving up money, and totally digging your job (most of the time).
Sometimes you think you are going to have to make yet another Big Decision, and you are totally prepared to face it, to do the grown-up thing, cancel that darned South American adventure in favor of a stable job and a fulfilling life in a small(ish) town (to see that integrity wins over desire, as Ms. DiFranco might say)…but then instead you get everything. You get to keep that job, the friends, the life, the boyfriend, the apartment.
At least, that’s what’s been going on with me. And I feel guilty. For getting what I wanted. For things working out.
I want to say that it was hard work. That I deserve the life I have because I’ve worked for it, suffered through years of tedious jobs and flaky friends, and I’ve always sought better for myself. Or maybe it’s my Positive Mental Attitude, I tell myself–I’ve willed this better, more sustainable, more fulfilling life for myself by staying positive, dancing when I’m down, and letting things go.
And this is all true–I’ve worked hard and tried to stay positive, tried to grow from adversity–BUT if my current, pleasant situation is due to my own self-love and PMA…then why the guilty feeling?
Well, because. Because, Friends. Because sometimes, self-love is not enough. Sometimes good vibrations and an honest day’s work aren’t enough. Sometimes not even patience, not even just waiting out the storm, can explain the sunny skies.
Sometimes you have to admit that your hard-earned good fortune is really the result of the love, energy, and effort of others. That your many blessings you receive are the cumulative result of those who care about you and going out of their way to make your life better and easier, for no reason other than being outstanding human beings who want the best for you.
And then what do you do? How do you relieve that nagging guilt? How do you let yourself feel that you deserve this?
Well, I guess you just do your best. You keep working hard and looking up and trying every day to show that you are forever grateful to those who’ve taken a chance on you and your happiness.
You say Thank You.
You say: I don’t know if you still read this, D, but thank you. Thank you so much.
Then you move on.