little sarah Big World

Month: December, 2012

No Joke

~OR~

Lately

I will never again acheive this level of baked elegance

Baking cookies. ‘Tis the season, after all, and there are friends to catch up with, no matter how packed our schedules.

Twins n Lights

Catching the light. Twins will be twins, after all, and there are whirlwind weekends to be had, no matter how big and busy the weeks to come.

Ben Lomond hotel, Ogden, UT

Getting hitched. Impulsive as ever, after all, and there are perfect memories to be made, no matter if they’re born of necessity.

*       *       *

But more on all of that later, Friends. For now: Happy Holidays.

And yes, it’s true. It’s all true.

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Then & Now

~OR~

I once was lost, but now am found

Late August: cold, grey and damp

Mid-December: warm, sunny and bright

So some people will say that 4 months is too soon. But look what a difference it makes. Look how far we’ve come. The sky has opened up, and with it our hearts and minds. The whole world has changed, for us, and because of us, and because of everything we’ve been through and everything we’ve promised to go through, together.

Four months ago I was an anxious girl in a strange place, shivering and conflicted.

Now I am somebody who makes Big Decisions and then sticks to them, who greets uncertainty with a smile and a straight back.

We literally could not have more fun in this moment, so don't even ask

Somebody who is scared, yes, but nevertheless I ask “How can we have more fun?”

And if the answer is huge, and daunting, like a mountain rising up through the cold winter air, all sharp white peaks and electric blue sky…then I say “Okay?”

And then we laugh. We talk. We share the sunshine, and we hold hands and jump.

Life’s a Trip

~OR~

“I could go forever with a car, the open road, good music, and good company”

Looking up in Rip Van Winkle Park

Do you remember when you said that if all we had was a bed and music, we could have an amazing time?

Café Lumiere, I believe

But we also have coffee–sometimes fancy (with maximum adjectives), sometimes simple (black). Sometimes instant, after a nap or with our sunlight closet kitchen breakfasts.

The Russian Way

And we have amazing friends, from all over the world. Friends who make us P-shaped sofa beds to sleep on after arriving in the middle of the night–post-party–after 13 hours of driving. Friends who make speeches, or take us to a private beach, or get us tipsy on champagne on a sunny winter’s afternoon.

Now with more regular sustenance

We have words, too, and crosswords, and we divide and conquer, for maximum fun. We have a new-found sense of comfort around each other, so that just as the faint worry forms itself in my mind (“What if we just sit here and eat in silence like all the saddest couples?”), it is obliterated by how utterly easy it is to be around you.

you coo lay leigh

We have a ukulele! We lose entire mornings to it, burn through lazy afternoons and surprise each other with our sweet-yet-simple, earnest efforts to plunk out a tune. So we do have music, but now we make music, too.

P, B, and J

We have snacks for days, and sometimes we have meals. We cook together, and sometimes we say “Fuck it,” and get take-out, and it feels like the most fun, the most giddy and indulgent thing. It feels like milk and cookies with a friend after school. It feels like a sleepover. Like no parents no rules.

sunny slopes in Pacific Grove

And we have sunshine. We have sunshine in our hearts, and warming our scalps, and electrifying our pulses, and we have it in the kitchen, and coming in through the wintery west windows, and in the middle of December. We have easy sunsets on the conversation-fueled charges from Utah to California and back, and we have a steady, stealthy sunrise as we pull into the City of Salt, 8am, 13 hours weary but ready to keep going.

We do a loop around the valley. We arrive back home exhausted, thrilled, enamored.

*       *       *

So yes, music and a bed would be enough. But we have so, so much more.

Kanpai!

Chad-o with cigarette

Went to Monterey for the weekend. On our way home today.

Monterey is like our Las Vegas–we don’t really eat or sleep and drink too much and stay up late doing wild things that we almost can’t believe or explain to ourselves the next day. It’s just the thing that happens when we are here together. And it’s fun as hell.

hazardous chemicals

Except this time we are also talking long-term, professing powerful feelings, and studying Japanese. And that is a different kind of fun.

Date Night

Joshua Payne Trio

Lately I’ve been going out, having dates with my friends. A private party with wine and jazz here, a world-class quartet with a meet-and-greet there. Lunches. Movie nights.

heated by a wood burning stove

Hanging out is an art, as essential in its beauty, simplicity and fulfillment as air or water. For a time I needed a break. I was over-saturated. But now the climate has changed, and I need to feel quenched, to fill myself as full of friendship and memories as possible.

South Temple @ night

Like I am preparing for a drought.

Friendship Fridays

~OR~

“The thing about Twilite is you never know how long you’re going to be there.”
-Espy

Seious, old-timey Espy and Griggs OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

True. Because sometimes you just stop in for a few post-work beers before heading on to other plans, and sometimes Twilite becomes the plan.

And the thing about my friends right now is: they don’t know that every time we are together, I am fighting back tears.

Because they are just that amazing.

Because I’m going to miss them that much.