My Current Self
An Idea Stolen from Espy
littlesarahBigWorld has come a long way, and so have I. Though…lately, I’ve felt a bit like nowhere, felt a shrug of nothingness. And posts have been fewer and further between.
That’s because, in the span of 9 months, I broke up, fell in love, remembered my old friend Anxiety, quit my job, got married, turned 27 and moved to Japan.
So…maybe it’s time for a reintroduction, as much for myself as for you. Try to nail down some specifics in an otherwise nebulous, quicksilver existence.
My name is Sarah. I am 27-years-old. I live in Japan.
I like simple pleasures, slow moments, sunshine, soft light.
I love to bake, to garden, to cook and to read. I like long walks and long runs, and music to match my solitude.
I overwhelm easily, tend to regret my Life Choices, and generally struggle and thrash about. I know what makes me happy, but sometimes, on a whim, I choose what’s harder. And sometimes I choose what I want over what’s right. Then I fret.
My favorite breakfast is a big bowl of cereal and an inbox filled with possibilities. An open notebook and an open schedule, a full day asking me, “What will you do?”
I will: run, eat, read, write, snack, walk, listen, think, connect, write, cry, hug, cook, talk and sleep. Maybe I’ll squeeze a nap in.
Because when I grow up, I want to be a writer. “A writer, an activist, a musician and traveler,” I said when I was 21.
That was over 5 years ago. Now I am married and live in Japan.
Time is a cookie, friends. Sometimes it is sweet and delicious, and sometimes it is a falling-apart mess.
Sometimes I am a falling-apart mess. And you are, too. Sometimes.
But sometimes you are beautiful, and happy, and full. Or you are decent, and kind, and careful. Or you are hideous, tear-stained, 3am insane.
So am I, and that is the truth.
We are all of us, all of these things, my friends, and I don’t want to hide any part of it. I want to tell the truth.
Because when I grow up, I want to be a writer. But more than that, I want to be me. Lasting forever, and starting right now.