~OR~
Seventh Day Recreation
“We need the tonic of wildness…
At the same time that we are earnest to explore and learn all things,
we require that all things be mysterious and unexplorable,
that land and sea be indefinitely wild, unsurveyed and unfathomed by us because unfathomable.
We can never have enough of nature.”
-Henry David Thoreau
“Do not burn yourself out. It is not enough to fight for the land; it is even more important to enjoy it. While you can. While it is still there.
So get out there and mess around with your friends, ramble out yonder and explore the forests, encounter the grizz, climb the mountains, bag the peaks.
Run the rivers, breathe deep of that yet sweet and lucid air, sit quietly for a while and contemplate the precious stillness, that lovely, mysterious and awesome space.
Enjoy yourselves, keep your brain in your head and your head firmly attached to the body, the body active and alive, and I promise you this much: I promise you this one sweet victory over our enemies, over those deskbound people with their hearts in a safe deposit box and their eyes hypnotized by desk calculators.
I promise you this: You will outlive the bastards.”
Lunch was tahini on cracker bread with tuna. Plus apples, which I added about halfway through.
Before that was housework, and writing, and the internet. After was more of the same, plus a walk.
There was a long-distance phone call, and linguistic explorations, frozen grapes and home-made ice cream.
Laundry, blogging, music, and dinner for two.
* * *
Took the IUD out; took the edge off. Now my Mondays are Mondays, and I’m fine with that.
Guys, it is not all doom and gloom here. It may FEEL like all doom and gloom, but it’s not. I guess that’s what’s so maddening–knowing that things are, in reality, quite pleasant and interesting but feeling increasingly like a twirly-out-of-control-stress-bomb-crying-anxiety-mess.
Still, I wanted to balance out ALL ANXIETY, ALL THE TIME with some sweet and silly tidbits from everyday life. Like my baristo excitedly running from the register to the espresso machine, in the middle of ringing me up, to write something on my cup, which turned out to be kind English well-wishings. Thank you, mystery Japanese baristo at Shinjuku station!
And thank you to all my dear and precious friends, who keep in touch with me through the ups and downs and give me an outlet to say things like:
“I’ll try to take some stealth fashion photos of strangers, though that may be difficult, as all Japanese-designated smartphones work in such a way that you CAN NEVER TURN OFF THE CAMERA SHUTTER SOUND. Not even in silent mode. This is due to rampant up-the-skirt photos. Thanks, Japan!”
Thanks Japan, indeed, and thank you, friendships, and thank YOU, Friends. More to come.
(from Whitman’s “Song of Myself”)
Quiet mornings spent reading are what I need right now. Maybe some tea, and a good hug. The world around me is full of possibilities, and beauty, and I am trying to take it all in, to bloom where I’m planted, no matter how many times I uproot myself.
And in some ways, things are looking up. But in other ways, it’s not so clear. Working with special needs kids is something I never thought I’d do, or be good at, but here I am, and the kids love me, and already they’ve made such an impression on me.
But there are other things to take into consideration, other jobs, and writing, and relationships, and it can (and does) all feel a bit overwhelming at times.
Sometimes more than a bit. Sometimes it seems like an insurmountable problem.
But, in the end, I know that I must figure it out for myself. And that I can. (I think).
Climb that hill, one step at a time
Been walkin an awful lot lately. Seeing ridiculous, wonderful things. Like a chicken, running away down an alley, white tufted bottom bouncing.
Like the words “S & M Forever!” spray-painted onto the sidewalk, as I am listening to talk of the myth of sex addiction as it relates to BDSM on the Savage Love podcast.
And other strange beauties. I don’t mean to brag, or to presume, but life feels pretty fateful right now. Well, equal parts fate, happenstance, and serendipity.
Things are good, and things are about to change, and change is good. That’s all.
~OR~
One Week Ago, Today
I will never understand how I can hop in a car, or catch a plane, and within hours be in a completely different place. A different day. A different climate. Even a different season. It feels like time travel. It feels like cheating. It feels surreal, and nonsensical, and like magic.
Oh, man. Oh, Friends. Christmas happened. So did New Year’s. And before that, a wedding. And before that, a road trip, and before that finding out about moving to Japan.
Before that it was Thanksgiving, so basically what I’m saying is that things have been a nutso landslide of friendship, family and festivities. Also love. Also the freezing, freezing cold of a Salt Lake City winter, tempered–if only for a brief respite–by 10 days of car ownership.
What I am saying is that we are now one week into the New Year, and I am feeling the opposite of resolved. Burnt out, yes. Behind on my accomplishments? Absolutely. But you’ve got to start somewhere, so here’s a catch-up. More words (and more pictures) to follow.
The name of the game now is “getting back on track.”
~OR~
Lately
Baking cookies. ‘Tis the season, after all, and there are friends to catch up with, no matter how packed our schedules.
Catching the light. Twins will be twins, after all, and there are whirlwind weekends to be had, no matter how big and busy the weeks to come.
Getting hitched. Impulsive as ever, after all, and there are perfect memories to be made, no matter if they’re born of necessity.
* * *
But more on all of that later, Friends. For now: Happy Holidays.
And yes, it’s true. It’s all true.
~OR~
“The thing about Twilite is you never know how long you’re going to be there.”
-Espy
True. Because sometimes you just stop in for a few post-work beers before heading on to other plans, and sometimes Twilite becomes the plan.
And the thing about my friends right now is: they don’t know that every time we are together, I am fighting back tears.
Because they are just that amazing.
Because I’m going to miss them that much.
little sarah Big World 