feelings

July 31, 2013

Right Here, Right Now

I love the sunlight coming through lush, mid-summer leaves, turning them from kelly green to luminescent. Shades of turqoise, green, leaves like soft fingers, sharing secrets in the breeze. The bright, candied red of my toenail polish. Sounds of windchimes, soft caress of the lazily swirling air. Birds chirping contentedly.

There is so much beauty in the world, so much left to see and do and experience. I don’t know how much of it I’ll get to see. I feel weighted by obligations and past mistakes. Heavy with emotion. Overwhelmed at the thought of catching up–so many experiences, so little blogging.

But I will do my best, and I will start right now. Right here.

November 17, 2012

The Truest Story of All

Random Thoughts Upon Waking from a Nap at 10pm:

-I don’t want to get up.

-But I can’t just keep sleeping. People are texting, and I’m supposed to want to see them. Supposed to feel social.

-I did feel social, but then I took a nap, and now I feel strange. Like napping did me wrong.

-Like the time when I talked about wanting to die and kill myself in my sleep and scared the shit out of Kevin, but I didn’t remember it when I woke up and didn’t feel that way.

-What if there are demons that try to attack my soul while I’m sleeping? That’s totally possible. I should probably tell Chad about it.

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November 3, 2012

Sometimes I have too many feelings, Friends. Just all of the fucking feelings, like a bowl full of volatile liquid lodged behind my sternum, bumping up against my bruised and beating heart.

Dramatic, I know, but it really feels like that. And I really am that dramatic, too, so…

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