little sarah Big World

Tag: friendships

Quality Time is Running Out

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Sister Sleepover, Round 2

@ Café on 1st

I realized recently how little time I have left–less than 5 weeks as I write this. The cold, the inversion, and the exciting/comforting/strange feeling of being newly married to my favorite person in the world had caused an intense bout of nesting.

Which is fine, except that in less than 5 weeks I’ll be able to see Chad every day, while I have to make due with letters, emails, phone calls and skype for all my other “other halves.” My dear, sweet friends and family. They are a rad bunch, and I am committed to hanging out with them in earnest, while there’s still time.

(photo credit: Miss Rose)

Last weekend I had a sister sleepover with Rosie, drinking and dancing with Griggs and the Stephanies, and a chakra workshop (it’s true, it’s all true) with Nicole.

inspiration credit: Rosie

While busy social whirlwind weekends like that used to overwhelm me, now it seems like it’s not enough. I’ve even made a To-Friendship list, just to ensure that I get to spend individual quality time with my greatest loves.

Because list-making–like running, or baking, or Dance Party of One–is a coping mechanism. And I am coping with the fact that I will miss my friends more than I could ever possible put into words, let alone a bulleted checklist.

But it’s a start.

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The Best Day of My Life

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The Facts:

I bought my dress second-hand, paid for it in cash. $32.61. I knew as soon as I tried it on that it was the dress I would get married in. A winter wedding dress.

Literally everything was borrowed or second-hand, except my pantyhose. Which tore and ran before the ceremony.

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Friendship Fridays

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“The thing about Twilite is you never know how long you’re going to be there.”
-Espy

Seious, old-timey Espy and Griggs OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

True. Because sometimes you just stop in for a few post-work beers before heading on to other plans, and sometimes Twilite becomes the plan.

And the thing about my friends right now is: they don’t know that every time we are together, I am fighting back tears.

Because they are just that amazing.

Because I’m going to miss them that much.

So Excited to See You

After The Big Cut I went straight to a party in Sugar House, where some of my most favorite people were dressed up and drinking. I was so excited to surprise them and show them my new hair that I literally could not contain my grin on the bike ride over.

And then they were so excited to see me and there were hugs and kisses and giggles and just basically the best of everything.

Also glowy bracelets:

Anyways, what I mean to say is that I’m always excited to see my friends, even when I am so busy and crazy-anxious and unbalanced that I fall off the friendship wagon and go spinning out into space. That goes for you too, e-Friends. Reads of this blog. I am always delighted to know that you are reading, but I can’t always be a-posting daily.

I guess what I really mean to say is: I’m working on it. Finding balance. And you are important to me.

I Am Made Up of the Pieces of You

I sometimes feel insecure, fragmented, anxious, though I want to feel confident, composed and strong. I sometimes want to be gutsy, to chop off my hair, but somebody else beats me to it.

I sometimes develop an unhealthy obsession with a young woman who I think is better than me in most ways.

(Later, we become unlikely friends, and I see that she is just as awesome as I thought, and better. I remember that I am pretty awesome, too.)

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Summer in Retrospect

At the height of summer the sun was rising when my alarm woke me at six, light spreading across the valley as I biked to work in shorts and a t-shirt. Then each morning grew a little darker, a little more chill, and I began wearing my hoodie again, shadows chasing me as I sped downhill.

September came, and you could feel Fall on the wind, like a thought whispered, a slight breeze past your ear. The promise of crisp, clean air and burnt colors and crunch. And I was ready.

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Babies and Brides

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What I Wanted Is Not What I Want

When Kevin left for Spain last fall, I went through a period of intense domestic yearning. I wrote about it a bit here, but I’ll tell you now that it was basically the first time in a long time when I’d longed for a settled life. A house, a yard, a family. Read the rest of this entry »

slow and unsteady

Sometimes anxiety seems an old friend to me. Someone who comes to stay for a while, usually whenever I go through big life changes. Break-ups. Graduations. Etc.

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Where Are We?

Last Friday Eric and I played a benefit. For…I’m still not sure. There was so much gong on–us, and a small jazz group, and some sort of Latin salsa-esque group. All in different corners of the same big warehouse. There was no start or end time for us playing. We just started when we arrived and played until a big band started, right in the middle of our song.

Then we got food, listened for a bit. Lindsey Friend was my date, adapting to my busy night so that we could have time to walk and talk. I ran into an old friend. It was uncomfortable. Later, I ran into an old band-mate–the first time that’s happened since I quit. Strange, strange Salt Lake City.

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Overhang

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“You have 15 to 20 minutes before you are bombarded with friendship. Be prepared.”

Last night. I was cleaning house, listening to the Broadway Showstoppers station on Pandora, wearing striped underwear and mom’s embroidered halter top from the 70s, and baking banana bourbon chocolate chip bread.

I turned down plans with a friend, a “friend date,” to do this. “I’ve got a date with myself,” I told her.

But…turns out you can’t just text your Stephanies a picture of you in your underwear and halter top and expect them not to show up at your house. I was making guacamole, anyways.

Told them I was in the middle of cleaning/dancing/baking, that I couldn’t be a great hostess for very long…but in the end it turned out not to matter. Because I don’t need to host them. There is no courting here, just epic hanging out and talking, laughing, complete honesty…

And whiskey gingers. Lots and lots of whiskey gingers.

(I call them that even when I use bourbon. True story).

Incidentally, I started the day off with sauteed chard.

We call that detox, friends. But it was totally worth it.