I Get Older, They Stay the Same Age
Dinner at Sister Natalie’s last night. Vegan deliciousness and Harry Potter V (Order of the Pheonix). This is the one where everyone cuts off their shaggy Goblet of Fire hair and gets ripped, where the boys become men. Pectorals and cheekbones, Friends. And that brings me to a phenomenon that needs discussing:
Sometimes I’m attracted to adolescent boys in movies, Friends. Don’t freak out. Let me explain: It’s just something I’ve never grown out of. Like, at one point I was a pre-teen and then a tween and then a teenager, and I had appropriate teen-y movie star crushes. Benny from The Sandlot. Joseph Mazzello from Simon Birch. The entire cast of Newsies. Then I got older, but I never fully shed those feelings. The years passed by, but the crushes remained the same.
And while some of you may be reaching for your phones to contact the authorities right now, I can assure you I am not alone. I know there are ladies out there who’ve got my back, 20-somethings who still freak out about how cute JTT is. It’s like the crush never goes away, even though we grow up and develop more age- and legally-appropriate attractions.
My Susan friend has had a mad crush on one Ronald Weasley since forever. Crushin’ HARD. And is that so wrong? I mean, if guys can talk about how hot Hermione is, why can’t ladies squeel over Ron and Harry? Or Cedric?
We can, and we do. We are the Lady Pedophile Film Society, and we meet monthly to watch movies from the 90s and remember our first crushes. Is that so wrong?
In other news: I have been drinking lots of wine lately. And last night I put some blueberries in it, what? I AM IMMUNE TO YOUR JUDGEMENTS. I WILL DRINK AND CRUSH AS I SEE FIT.
I don’t know what point I was trying to make with this. I feel tipsy right now, but I’m not! I’m at work! Blogging about drinking and pedophilia! That’s appropriate, right?
As is THIS.