little sarah Big World

Tag: late nights


Chad-o with cigarette

Went to Monterey for the weekend. On our way home today.

Monterey is like our Las Vegas–we don’t really eat or sleep and drink too much and stay up late doing wild things that we almost can’t believe or explain to ourselves the next day. It’s just the thing that happens when we are here together. And it’s fun as hell.

hazardous chemicals

Except this time we are also talking long-term, professing powerful feelings, and studying Japanese. And that is a different kind of fun.

August 9th, 2012, nearing 2am

I hope I never forget this, this feeling. This moment when we are young, but we are finally women, living on our own, spending what seems to us a great deal of money as we please, and sometimes wisely. A time when we’ve grown into our bodies and our lives, we can walk home without bras and make bad decisions, when we cry so easily and drink too much and live on chips and dip.

And we get closer. We get closer.

I don’t ever want to forget walking home, nearly 2am, and knowing that I should have gone to bed earlier, knowing that I will be exhausted (again) in the morning. So tired I feel like I am already asleep, like I am swimming through the murky-warm waters of a late summer night, all grays and deep blues and the thick, silent air.

My feet sore; my heart happy.

Night Walks


Slow It Down, Now

Remember how I had to get sick to realize that sometimes it’s okay to just do nothing? To amble, meander, even saunter? I was serious about that, Friends! I’ve been working on enjoying the journey, not just racing to the destination. So I walk more. Sometimes at night. Here’s what that looks like, from the library to my place.

Salt Lake at Night

I do like Salt Lake City. I really do. I get down about living here sometimes, but that’s just the people. It’s a small, incestuous community, and since I’ve pulled away from my own group of friends (dating back to high school), I’ve found it’s incredibly difficult to wedge myself into another, previously-formed group. It’s like sports, like everyone’s chosen teams and I’m a free agent. But with more crying in the shower.

But this city, Friends, this city is incredible. It is truly unlike any other place in the world, which is something I’ve said before, and I will continue to say it for as long as it’s true. Just walking around the streets at night with my guy, or a friend, is inspirational, poetic, calm, and beautiful.

Even after traveling and living abroad, you’d think that a place like this would feel small, but it doesn’t. I mean, yes, there’s the issue with the community feeling like it’s made up of 20 people (and they’re all cheerleaders and football players, while I’m home-schooled), but the city itself has not lost its charm for me.

Maybe that’s why I like her so much at night–no people, no traffic, no egos. Just the dark, the city, and me.