little sarah Big World

Tag: little sisters

Quality Time is Running Out

~OR~

Sister Sleepover, Round 2

@ Café on 1st

I realized recently how little time I have left–less than 5 weeks as I write this. The cold, the inversion, and the exciting/comforting/strange feeling of being newly married to my favorite person in the world had caused an intense bout of nesting.

Which is fine, except that in less than 5 weeks I’ll be able to see Chad every day, while I have to make due with letters, emails, phone calls and skype for all my other “other halves.” My dear, sweet friends and family. They are a rad bunch, and I am committed to hanging out with them in earnest, while there’s still time.

(photo credit: Miss Rose)

Last weekend I had a sister sleepover with Rosie, drinking and dancing with Griggs and the Stephanies, and a chakra workshop (it’s true, it’s all true) with Nicole.

inspiration credit: Rosie

While busy social whirlwind weekends like that used to overwhelm me, now it seems like it’s not enough. I’ve even made a To-Friendship list, just to ensure that I get to spend individual quality time with my greatest loves.

Because list-making–like running, or baking, or Dance Party of One–is a coping mechanism. And I am coping with the fact that I will miss my friends more than I could ever possible put into words, let alone a bulleted checklist.

But it’s a start.

Mama Said There’d Be Days Like This

“There’d Be Days Like This, My Mama Said”

-The Shirelles

Days where you are too anxious to eat, but Mom makes you tofu curry scramble and fresh salted garden tomatoes. So you eat, and you do feel better.

Days when you have to explain to your little sister what breaking up is, how if you are boyfriend and girlfriend with somebody, and you don’t want to be with just that person anymore, then you break up. And that means you don’t see each other as much anymore, and that means Rosie won’t be seeing her friend Kevin as much anymore. Do you understand?

She doesn’t, but she tries, and she holds my hand and kisses my cheek.

Days where you go to a Ladies’ Luncheon, laugh about the bad decisions you’re making, make light, feel better. More like yourself.

Days where you play music in a church, where beautiful girls sing pure and powerful, like sirens. And your friends tell you they love you, and when you lean your head on their shoulders, they lean back into you.

Going Home

Saturday Morning, After the Sleepover

“Sarah, why is your kitchen in your bedroom?”

“Why do you drink out of jars?”

“Why don’t you have a car?”

My 20-something life is all but unfathomable to my little sister. And she’s not the only one. Even I have to question my methods from time to time. Like at the wedding last weekend, with the other bridesmaids in graduate school, or working professionally, making big career strides and living in big cities.

I realized, apart from graduating college, I have almost no claim to adulthood–I don’t own a home, or a car. I’m not married, I don’t have children. I have nothing but the vaguest notions about grad school. I don’t have a full-time job, or health insurance.

I am a bike-riding, studio-living, self-indulgent young woman. And most days I am okay with that. But sometimes I see myself through another’s eyes, and I have to wonder…

…then Rosie tells me that her favorite thing is sleeping over and walking to the coffee shop on the corner in the morning. I like to think that she’ll always remember that, the way I still remember a sleepover with Aunt Angie when I was little–like I was being allowed a peek into adult life.

I mean, somebody has to be the “single” Auntie or sister, the one with time and space for sleepovers. The one who will take you for hot chocolate and bagels. The one who is, like Sandra Cisneros, “nobody’s mother and nobody’s wife.”

*       *       *

I am okay with being that person. Most of the time.

A Sister by Any Other Name

~OR~

Rose

(+Nicole, +Natalie)

Woke up on Saturday to a miniature cherry pie, inches from my face. “Look, Tharah.” The smell of Sculpey, and a 5-year-old’s lisp.

Little Sister Rosie slept over on Friday night. I don’t have any pictures of that, because we were too busy eating pasta, watching Don’t Eat The Pictures (Sesame Street classic), making “fairy money” with Sculpey, and having story time.

Then Saturday we were too busy buying produce and blueberry turnovers at the farmers’ market. Too busy being sisters, too special to try and document.

Quality time, I think that’s called.

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