little sarah Big World

Tag: wine

This Happened:

A hike happened, with 9 different ladies and only 1 common-denominator friend, thrown loosely together, after work on a Tuesday.

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History

I remember:

-Giant fake sequoias and a rising sense of panic, an urgent text–“I feel supremely un-okay”–and then reassurance, caring

-A long drive that turned out to be so much more perfect than a short one

-Your hand on my leg

-Almost crashing, over and over, but not really feeling scared

-Drinking bourbon straight from the bottle

-Holding each other, frantically, because this was finally real. It was touchable.

-Crying in the bathroom; missing my friends

-3 hours of sleep

-Watching you drink a mug of coffee, black

-A drive that I never wanted to end

-Waiting for you outside the bathroom

-Your hand on my back

-A long lazy lunch

-“Where does he think I’m from?”

-Stealing kisses in the car

-2 hours behind a budget truck (high centered), and absolutely not caring. Being content, just to be there. Just to be near you.

-Skipping a nap and dinner in favor of tall glasses of whiskey

-Being unable to get up off the couch

-A ridiculous party, never-ending laughs, running home, pretending to be asleep

-Piecing together the night before

-Popcorn for breakfast

-Coming home sweaty after a run to your smiling face

-Changing with the door wide open

-Screaming Turkish music, and meeting new people

-Feeling like I ought to live up to expectations; feeling unable to do so

-Being so, so cold all of the time

-Long walks

-A secret spot

-Saving the end of the story for later

-The Giggles

-A night in with mota, wine, and The Tip of the Iceberg

-Waking up earlier

-Talking for hours in bed, and an internal sigh of relief

-Teaching each other

-A complete meal (bet you anything those pancakes weren’t vegan)

-A walk on the beach

-Watching you watch me watch you smoke

-Hanging out, looking at pictures, smoking, talking

-Meeting my twin!

-SLAYING IT at karaoke

-After being so nervous and anxious that I was about to ask to leave

-Because karaoke is infinitely scarier to me than any other performance

-Because you were drunk and instantly so comfortable with me, while I felt uneasy. And guilty.

-Out of my element

-A failed dance party of two

-Your eyes

-A quick drive to the airport, and goodbye for now

*       *       *

I don’t remember perfection, but I remember everything. The amazing parts, the scary parts, the anxious parts, the hunger, the hangovers. It wasn’t perfect, and I am not perfect. I am real, and so are you, and so is this.

As real as the pain of its absence.

As real as the relief of its return.

slow and unsteady

Sometimes anxiety seems an old friend to me. Someone who comes to stay for a while, usually whenever I go through big life changes. Break-ups. Graduations. Etc.

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Psych!

~OR~

Catchphrases of the 90s: Where Are They Now?

Aw, Friends, you didn’t really think I’d abandon you for 3 whole weeks, did you? Now, I can’t promise daily posts (as though that were the standard that I’ve set…), but I will do my best to treat you to enough catch-up posts and guest blogs to keep you coming back for more.

Because the “more” will be pictures of South America. Argentina, Chile, and Peru, specifically.

In the meantime…here’s a March Round-Up! March was fun, Friends. Or did you not see the two bottles of wine above? That happened! We took two bottles of wine to a dinner for three. This was that dinner:

That was at Pago. For Stephanie Red’s birthday. Also for Stephanie’s birthday, we had cake. In a bar. Because of this movie. It was cheesecake:

Ah, birthdays. We basically celebrated for a week, which is how everyone should birthday.

Also in March, Salt Lake got a new mall! What? YES.

Lindsey Friend works there. We ate Subway about it.

Anyways, that was March! How was YOUR March? I wanna know. No, really.

Also: stay tuned.

I Am a Big Girl

So I can:

-have popcorn and dried fruit for dinner

-with a side of wine

-okay, many sides of wine

I can:

-spend a night by myself, and it will be okay

(it does not mean I’m undesirable)

-dance by myself

-and it is not pathetic

-it is just dancing

It is a release.